It's been 3 months and now I'm kickin' it Katarina style.

">Okay,  Sorry for the absence.  Summer took over and then it really took over.   I know from all of the letters of complaint it's been challenging, you know,"missing me."  So whilst encouraging my offspring and then being totally pissed off because already they are cuter and way more athletic than we (the man in my life) could have ever been.  (Oh ending with a preposition.)   So a picture.  Katarina style.  Hanging out with a bunch of pre-pubescent youngsters, their parents and a bunch of 8 year olds.  Not to mention, cheetos, bagels, beef jerky and a shit-load of chlorine.  Luckily, no murder.   Just some basketball and some Hokey-Pokey.  It's Utah.

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It made me appreciate the people of Louisiana and also take 2 minutes to love the one your with. We survived.    I love swimming.  It's good people.  Plus some KFC, hilarious hormones and just a lot of sweat.  You'd love it too.

with love and a high five.

jen

A couple of things.

Did you read the Wall Street Journal business section (ok, we get the abbreviated version in our Sunday paper) that blogging is passe. Old school.  No one wants to read more than one paragraph.

Just when I get something, it's considered out of touch, no longer cool, I SUCK.   Fer reals?!  I don't Twitter.  Don't even know how to Twitter.  Don't want to Twitter.  The Man in My Life finds all of this ridiculous.  Twittering, blogging, Facebook...tiresome, ridiculous, overly overt. But  wait, blogging?  I like you people.  I think you are smart and funny and smart.  I'm not giving up.  I've lived long enough to see the cycle.  It happens.

Guess what Twitter won't be forever.  Twitter is weird.

Second and totally off base... she who is my 12 year old saw a taxi driver smoking in cigarette in his taxi.  Gross. We live in Utah. Only a few of us smoke and those of who dream to smoke are smoking cloves.

But just gross. If I owned that cab company, you would not be allowed to smoke in the cab.  We have money to make damn it.

Allright and Amen.  And then see ya' later.

Do you think these questions might show up on the Census?

Did you know that because I live in the West, I am more likely to have breast implants?   If I lived in the Southeast I'd be rockin' some serious derriere implants.  

Now, I do not have breast implants and have mentioned in a past post I quite like what The Good Lord (or G*D, that's a shout out to my friend over at wifemotherexpletive.blogspot.com , she'll get it)  gave me.  Derriere implants, are you serious?  Buying jeans is tough enough, petite in length, but not "Mom jeans"  but not so low that I risk showing off the fact that I have birthed 3 large children.  I mean really, we need to add extra room for my derriere implants so that making buying said jeans puts me directly into the funny farm?!  Luckily, I don't live in Florida, this will not be a problem.

I am at risk for being tempted by other invasive procedures such as Liposuction and an Eyelid Lift, you know because I live in the West.  Tummy tuck, no. The folks in Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi want that more than me.  They live in the Southeast.  It's what they do.

Now on the minimally invasive front, Botox, soft-tissue fillers and a random chemical peel might get me through my 40's.  That's how we Westerners roll.  What about Botoxing my ass, Chemical peeling my boobs and then just adding some soft-tissue filler to my tummy.....that way I am just accentuating what I already have going.    Why stop this train from wrecking, I'm well on my way!

So, is the Census 2010 compiling this information?  I mean this is important shit.  We need to know.  When the Census Man/Woman comes knocking on my door, I'm speaking the truth.  Leave my body alone.  It rocks!

Because if I didn't you would have been disappointed.

"Oh Hello Mr. and Mrs. So and So" by all means let me acknowledge your presence.

So, I am working on a new wave. We live in a place where everyone waves. Driving in the car, people wave. Walking down the street, people wave. We live in a small town, people wave. So you know me. I like people. I wave. But I am starting to think my wave doesn't really give off my true essence. So I am working on some new waves.

How about a salute?  "Too military?"  It's easy while driving but might just be too political. I don't know.

What about genuflecating? It's quite powerful but at the same time most of the folks don't deserve it. Plus it requires you get on your knees but that's not appropriate while driving.

What about the standard "Rock On" sign. Totally eighties, which kind of dates me. And brings some kind of hair band vision. Not great. I'm trying to keep it classy.

What about when someone starts at their forehead and makes a circular motion and bows slightly? What's that called? Again, maybe not appropriate while driving....kind of distracting.

Peace sign? Over used. Not as cool as we think it is.

Pointing straight at the person, acknowledging their presence. Kind of hostile. Might be misread by recipient. Road rage, hell no, just saying "Hi!"  The Man in My Life thinks this might be his new wave.  Such a follower....

Flip them off? Well, some I would like to, but it's a small community. I need to keep it in check.

What about blowing kisses? I can be sweet and thoughtful with my blowing. It will take some by surprise. They won't be sure of my motive. I love that.

Keep 'em guessing. That's how I roll. Kisses it is!  And you didn't even have to vote.   From here on out,  I will blow kisses to everyone who waves. They are going to hate me or think I'm crazy.  Excellent!